If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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