I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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