its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize