so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
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How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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