If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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