As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
