I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
