Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
