Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
