glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
