So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
