There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i out mim tonsoeep
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
