Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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