Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
