And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
