She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
