You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
