Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize