No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need to calm my uterus...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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