So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
