I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
