I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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