guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm too high and old for this...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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