I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
