it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
