im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
