I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize