He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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