I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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