MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't turn off my feet"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
