I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
