News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
