How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
sex in a hospital.. check
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
