Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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