you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
