Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
