im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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