Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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