He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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