how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize