Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
