Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
