Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
