hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
