Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
