Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
