I like to think it a success when the cops are called
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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