in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
