I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
3 2 1 whiskey
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
