first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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