You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
