New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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