Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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