that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
