I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
