I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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